


when the sky is starless.

by taeminki



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: M/M, Rated for Suicidal Themes, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 08:45:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13783893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: Jaehyung and Younghyun met when they were both on edge.





	when the sky is starless.

part one, introduction (scene one, the last: cupid's arrow)

 

_Jaehyung was on the edge of a bridge when Younghyun found him._

_Jaehyung had been suicidal before. He would never utter a word of these feelings, but he had felt them. He had felt the urge to swallow an entire bottle of painful pills, and he had felt the urge to throw himself down off of this bridge more than once-- but now, that bridge was therapeutic. He was relaxing in the sounds his guitar made; in the way his fingers felt as he strummed the strings of his instrument. He was singing along to the music he made--loud, clear, and bold, because no one came up here in the dead of night. If anyone was around, it was a car that was making its way home way too late-- probably someone cheating on their wife or coming home from the hospital or working odd, odd hours. And they would ignore Jaehyung, because they wouldn't hear him anyway._

_And then Younghyun found him._

_Younghyun had been suicidal before. He would never utter a word of these feelings, but he had felt them. He had felt the urge to choke on a bullet, and he had felt the urge to throw himself off of a tall building more than once-- and, in fact, he was heading to the middle of a bridge to do just about the same thing. He'd left his goodbye notes in his room, and he'd traveled a long while on numb legs, with his phone in his pocket, headphones blocking out the world he'd come to hate. He was ready to leave the planet, to find something new; or perhaps to just disappear. A part of him-- a big part-- hoped that he just disappeared. He drowned in the river and ceased to exist; his soul left his body and evaporated into space, never to be seen again. He was ready for a reality like that, he thought. He was finally, finally ready._

_And then he found Jaehyung._

_Cupid stumbled upon the scene as Younghyun was walking up the hill. The suicidal boy had his head down, immersed in the music and his thoughts. His eyes were closed, and Cupid could see he was sad. He stopped, and he stared, and he waited for the right moment-- and then he lifted his bow, pulled it back--_

_\--and Cupid shot through two broken hearts with one arrow_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part two, jaehyung (scene one: the itch)

 

The itch that came with being in love with someone for seven years wasn't exclusive to those who were married, nor was it generally exclusive to a seven-year time period. Jaehyung started to feel the itch just a year after Younghyun proposed, months before they were supposed to get married, eight years into their relationship-- as friends, and then lovers (three and five, respectively). It came to him one rare night in which Younghyun fell asleep before him, exhausted by the movement of his hips as he made love to his fiance. Jaehyung couldn't sleep, his chest filled with an odd sense of regret. At the love-making? Jaehyung couldn't confirm, not for sure. At his response to Younghyun's proposal? The regret was a bit late-- a _year_  late, or at least eleven months. At something else? Probably. Jaehyung simply felt empty, like something hadn't been fulfilled, and it definitely didn't have to do with their love-making, given that Jaehyung's body was _still_  sensitive at being overstimulated. It had nothing to do with the care that came after sex, either; Jaehyung and Younghyun didn't have that kind of relationship-- and, besides, Younghyun had given him ample kisses and attention before drifting off to sleep.

So, what was it? Younghyun was better at figuring these kinds of things than Jaehyung was, but he couldn't bring himself to wake his sleeping fiance. There was something in Jaehyung's body that made him feel numb. There was _something_ , just _something_  that made him unable to move, or think, or come to any conclusion-- so he stared at the ceiling and suffocated in his thoughts until morning-- Saturday morning, when Younghyun rolled onto his side at 11:43, crushed Jaehyung's arm, but didn't notice because he wasn't told. He lifted himself onto his elbow about a minute later so he could kiss Jaehyung's cheek, and ear, and nose. Jaehyung moved his arm while Younghyun's lips were occupied.

"You look tired, love," Younghyun muttered while his lips occupied Jaehyung's ear. Jaehyung nodded-- no denial in his movement. Younghyun brushed Jaehyung's hair behind his ear, kissed the tip of his nose and asked "Why?" after he'd moved back a few inches-- far enough that his morning breath would not disturb Jaehyung's sense of smell. Jaehyung blinked slowly at him, "I can't sleep."

"You didn't take your medicine last night, did you?"

Jaehyung always found it endearing that Younghyun called sleeping pills _medicine_. Jaehyung always associated _medicine_  with things that needed to be taken to cure something. Jaehyung had never been convinced that he _needed_  sleeping pills, because he slept just fine some nights he forgot to take them. He wasn't convinced he had insomnia, like his doctor tried to tell him-- or like Younghyun tried to tell him. He just had some off days in which his thoughts kept him up, because he had a haunting past and it wouldn't go away some nights. (Last night hadn't been about the past. Last night had been about the _right now_.)

So, "I don't think that was the problem."

"What do you think the problem was?" Younghyun had a year of psychological training under his belt-- not enough for him to make conclusive suggestions as to _Why can't I sleep?_ or _Why do I feel so helpless?_ , but enough to know what questions to ask; and, on top of that, he knew Jaehyung well enough to know what kind of advice to give him after he received his answers. So, he knew plenty (which is why he was so damn good at this).

"I think I regret something, and I can't figure out what it is." Jaehyung said. Younghyun was silent for a moment, seemingly stumped in finding an appropriate question of the list he had stored in the back of his mind. However, his brain moved fast; and, after coming to the conclusion that he didn't have an appropriate go-to question, made up one of his own, "Did you regret making love to me last night?"

"I thought about that. No, I-- I don't think it was that." Jaehyung said. Younghyun nodded. His hand started for Jaehyung's ear and ended up there, brushing more hair behind it even though most was already tucked away. The touch was comforting-- almost too comforting, and made Jaehyung want to sleep, but his stomach was so unsettled and he was so uncomfortable in his own skin that he couldn't force himself to relax.

"Are you nervous to marry me?" Younghyun asked. Jaehyung shook his head lightly, "No. I thought about that too, I... I don't think it's you, Younghyun-- or _us_. It's just... something, and I can't figure out what it is."

"Well," Younghyun said, moving his hand from Jaehyung's ear to his chest, and stopping his movements altogether. His palm lay static against Jaehyung's heart, and he spoke to it directly, "You know, every time you can't sleep, it's because of something that happened a long time ago that you, or we, never dealt with. It's the same reason I have panic attacks, baby. Something is all clouded in your heart--" and Younghyun tapped upon it twice, "--but it's not reaching your head. Let's think, okay? Let's connect."

 _Let's connect_ , as in let's connect heart to brain and figure out what we can do to solve this problem.

Jaehyung nodded.

"Alright, how about... childhood. Let's start there. Is there something that happened that we haven't talked about?"

Jaehyung raked through his memories in attempt to find something-- anything-- that wouldn't have come up in conversation. He briefly recounted his mother's death, his sister's abuse, the year-long incident with his tenth grade music teacher. A shiver traveled up his spine, his issues with women haunting his back. Younghyun soothed the chill with a run of his hand in the opposite direction down the front of Jaehyung's body. Jaehyung settled, and he shook his head, "No. I can't think of anything."

Younghyun left him in silence for a few moments, because silence usually cranked a memory out of Jaehyung. Jaehyung thought it wouldn't work this time, and his doubt nearly blocked a previously sheltered memory, but it broke out of its prison, and it hit Jaehyung like a fist to his cheek-- and he gasped, and Younghyun jolted a bit at the sudden noise, but paid all the more attention to Jaehyung's shaky words, accompanied by a shocked frown, "My dad hit me once, when he got drunk. I forgave him, but-- he thought I was my sister, I--"

Jaehyung sucked in a breath, taking a moment to piece together his thoughts and spill them out into words, "I forgot about it, because I never wanted to think about it, but... he thought I was my sister, and he _hit me_. My sister was always so abusive, I-- I wondered where she learned it--"

"It must have been from your father." Younghyun said, not necessarily cutting Jaehyung off, but speaking in the midst of his pause before Jaehyung could piece more words together for the end of the statement. Jaehyung nodded, agreed. His back settled into the sheets, but he wasn't relaxed. His eyes stared up at the ceiling, but he wasn't relaxed. That wasn't the problem; it wasn't haunting him. It only made him more tense to realize it.

"I don't think that's what was bothering me." Jaehyung said. Younghyun, his hand moved again to Jaehyung's hair, didn't let him continue with his denial, "No, but it's something you kept within you for a long time. Talk to me about it-- even if it's only for a minute."

So, Jaehyung talked. He expressed his confused thoughts and sudden guilt-- his _I wish I would have known_ , his _I understand, but I wish she wouldn't have abused me_ , his _I've always loved my father so much_ , and his frustration because he wasn't sure if he should side with the woman who abused him but was abused herself, or if he should side with the man who loved him but abused someone else... who, granted, he didn't love much, but _should_  have loved and _could_  have loved. It was all confusing, and it took up five minutes of his morning, and all of a sudden it was 12:14 and Jaehyung was crying because there just had to be another thing, right? He just had to find something new to cry about, right?

"You don't have to side with either of them." Younghyun told him, gently petting Jaehyung's bare ribs. Jaehyung had since covered his face with his hands, which left Younghyun only enough room to kiss his chin and the backs of his hands. "You just have to accept that they're both damaged people and they both did damaging things, and you don't have to figure out right away if you want to forgive either of them. You're going to be confused, but when you have time to think about it, and maybe when you've had time to talk to them, it'll come to you. Don't think too much. Give it time."

Jaehyung nodded, and he continued to silently sob into his palms for twenty minutes before he decided he was exhausted. His body was relaxed with the absolute sleepiness, and he rolled onto Younghyun's chest and told him "I want to sleep," and Younghyun pet his hair, whispered over his growling stomach, "Sleep then, baby," and Jaehyung had spent too much of his guilt that morning to feel bad about falling asleep over Younghyun's hunger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part three, younghyun (scene one, the last: the tears)

 

Sometimes, Younghyun cried when his lips were against Jaehyung's. Sometimes, Jaehyung noticed. Sometimes, he pulled away just long enough to wipe the tears from Younghyun's cheeks, and then he would press right back into the younger male. Sometimes, more tears would fall from Younghyun's eyes, and Jaehyung would interrupt the kiss to comfort him again. Sometimes, none of that would happen. Sometimes, they had normal kisses; wet only by the way their lips molded together. Sometimes, Jaehyung didn't notice--far too immersed in the way Younghyun tasted. Sometimes, Younghyun stopped crying after the first bit of Jaehyung's attention, healed by the way he comforted. Some days, they just didn't kiss, caught up in cuddles or work or travel--something they both did. Some days, Jaehyung wasn't even around when Younghyun shed tears for him-- out visiting the family or already fast asleep. Sometimes, some days.

The only constant in Younghyun's tears was the fact that he cried for Jaehyung. He cried for his love; he cried for Jaehyung's beauty; he cried because everyone and everything was okay. Younghyun couldn't remember the last time he felt okay; and he cried because his emotions built up inside him just from thinking about Jaehyung--sometimes. It might take seeing Jaehyung, talking to him, staring at him for the emotion to really build-- but it was always Jaehyung. Always, no matter what.

Always, no matter what; it traveled farther than teary eyes and wet kisses. Always, no matter what; it described the way in which Younghyun loved Jaehyung, the ways in which he would be there, the way in which Jaehyung reciprocated his feelings. It was the basis of their fated relationship. _Always_  was a word as strong as love; it was the connection between the heart of one soulmate and the heart of the next.

 _Always_  was important to both Younghyun and Jaehyung. It was the first promise they had ever made to each other, and one they kept for years, and years, and years, potentially (and promisingly) leading up to forever. The two were rather on edge when they met, and they were on edge for a long time after that, but they became afraid of losing each other once they had each been found, so _always_  became a promise, because _always_  ended as soon as either one of them teetered over the edge.

Jaehyung never got close to the edge. There were times he would sit from a distance and look at it, and his confusion would have him pondering the possibility of slipping over it, but he never got close to it anymore. Younghyun was the only of the two who did, his random attacks of panic pulling him closer and closer. Jaehyung always pulled him back-- _always_. Jaehyung's fingers were quick to catch him, to latch around his biceps and tug as hard as he can, ripping Younghyun's fragile body away from the rough hands of panic. Jaehyung would console him, wrap his body around Younghyun and face the panic for him until it went away.

Younghyun thought about Jaehyung's strength in handling his panic while Jaehyung was doing exactly that. His back was facing the black shadows of horror as Younghyun struggled to breathe in Jaehyung's chest-- and, no, it didn't have a thing to do with the fact that there was fabric against Younghyun's mouth. It had everything to do with the past coming back to him, with the panic attempting to rip its way into his heart before Jaehyung made it to him.

It was 3:49 in the morning, and it was dark as hell but the amount of light in the room didn't matter, because he recognized the arms as Jaehyung's, as well as the breathing and the shushing and the words. He recognized the bed as his own; he recognized the sheets as comforting. He recognized the safety and it only took him a few moments to be able to breathe, though he held onto Jaehyung for dear life, fearful despite his comfort.

"What were you thinking about?" Jaehyung asked when he was confident that Younghyun could breathe enough to answer him. Younghyun needed a few moments more-- to catch enough breath for words, to formulate a statement from his muddled mind. He gasped out, "You," and Jaehyung's voice turned concerned, "Me?" and Younghyun nodded, taking a deep breath, and spilling, all at once, "You make me feel better."

Jaehyung nodded. His fingers, positioned from the left in Younghyun's hair and from the right around Younghyun's thigh, started to move, shifting closer together until they were linked with Younghyun's, though his arms were still around the younger male. Younghyun's back was officially pressed against Jaehyung's chest, and Jaehyung had his chin hooked over Younghyun's shoulder, and he was hunching his shoulders over Younghyun's frame, curling himself around the younger even though the shadows were gone.

In this position, Younghyun could kiss Jaehyung. He could kiss him and cry. Jaehyung noticed, if his sudden pull away from Younghyun's lips was anything to go by. In favor of holding him, however, Jaehyung didn't wipe them away-- and, instead, would kiss each tear until it was gone, absorbed by Jaehyung's lips or tongue-- salt across his soft lips and taste buds. Younghyun cried tears upon tears, and Jaehyung chased each one away-- destroyed each one. Younghyun could eventually taste a tiny trace of his own salty panic on Jaehyung's lips, and he wondered how Jaehyung could stand such an awful taste-- but he remembered that, generally, the best tastes in the world were acquired, and while Jaehyung may not want to drink up Younghyun's panicked tears in his free time, he may enjoy it in moments like this, when he knew he was making a difference in the heart of his husband-to-be just by holding him, and kissing him, and talking him through the third hour of the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part four, the boys (scene one, the last: the normalcy)

 

"Typical," Sungjin muttered gently, his annoyance reaching Younghyun's ears and inspiring his eyes to look. His gaze pointed straight ahead, already detecting the cause of Sungjin's annoyance. In front of them, a few yards away, Wonpil was laying on his back, laughing as Dowoon sat upon his lap, tickling his ribs gently. Younghyun witnessed a small spark of their love-- of Dowoon leaning down and pecking Wonpil on the lips. Younghyun looked to Sungjin-- to his red cheeks and bitter eyes. He rubbed a hand down Sungjin's shoulder, "Don't look."

"It's not that easy." Sungjin said. Younghyun nodded. He knew that. He knew how difficult it was to look away from a lover, no matter what they were doing. He knew it by example and experience-- like the next moment, when his eyes caught sight of Jaehyung entering the courtyard. He was walking slowly, and his head was down, and that was all he was doing. His hand was in his pocket, and his left hand was on the strap of his backpack, and he was just walking... walking... walking. Younghyun missed three more kisses shared between Wonpil and Dowoon. He missed Sungjin's trace of a tear down his cheek, wiping it angrily away. He missed so many things he could have comforted Sungjin for, and so many reasons to comfort the older male, but he missed them all simply because he watched his boyfriend walk closer, and closer, and closer to them.

"Get a room," Jaehyung teased gently, nudging Dowoon's shoulder with his foot, knocking the couple's kiss apart. Dowoon laughed, while Wonpil swatted at Jaehyung's leg, grumbling about him being even worse than them, but it was all covered up by a little laugh that he couldn't help but sound out, too. Younghyun noticed the reactions of Wonpil and Dowoon through his peripheral, for his eyes remained on Jaehyung-- who started to move closer, and closer, and closer again. Jaehyung settled on the ground, kissing Younghyun as soon as he was steady enough and level enough to do so. Wonpil and Dowoon had gone back to each other, not bothering to pay attention to the other couple long enough to tease them.

"How are you doing, Sungjin?" Jaehyung asked, leaning forward a bit to look past Younghyun and attempt to catch Sungjin's eye. Sungjin didn't look at Jaehyung; he kept his eyes trained on Wonpil and Dowoon for some moments more, and then he looked at the ground, and sighed, and said, "I'm actually--have somewhere to go--" and he gathered his things, and he walked away. Jaehyung and Younghyun watched him; Younghyun looked to Jaehyung, and Jaehyung to Younghyun, and they silently pitied Sungjin for some time before Jaehyung sat up, and back-- shoulder against Younghyun's collar bone, "How's work?"

"Boring without you," Younghyun said. He and Jaehyung used to work at the same company building, but Younghyun had recently moved to an entirely new company-- because that company would allow Younghyun's songs to be submitted directly to the CEO and his team for review and broadcast. Younghyun wouldn't sing them; he had no desire to so far, but he would be able to assist in producing them and perhaps even in the directing on the music videos and the arrangement on the vocals. Younghyun hadn't had a hand in anything so far, but he _had_  only been there a few days.

"How's it going for you, babe?" Younghyun asked, unconsciously tucking his hand into Jaehyung's front pocket. Jaehyung nodded slowly, "It's okay," and the two fell into silence again. They observed Wonpil and Dowoon for a moment-- excited and _so_  in love, and Jaehyung held Younghyun's hand, and wondered, "Do you think it's strange we never went through a honeymoon phase like that?"

"Considering our mental states, I don't think so." Younghyun said. Jaehyung stared at Wonpil and Dowoon for some time more, and asked, "Do you ever wish we did?"

"I think we have an opportunity to, if we keep working to be happy." Younghyun said. He carefully tucked himself around Jaehyung's body, "If we don't let depression get the best of us, I think we'll have a honeymoon phase. Maybe, because we love each other so damn much, it'll never go away once it comes."

Jaehyung liked the sound of that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

memory one, (scene one, the last: the adventure)

 

Jaehyung and Younghyun were laying in bed, lazing the day away with nothing to do. Jaehyung was twenty-two. He was twenty-two, and he felt young, and bored, and he brought up-- "I want to do something crazy. Like... not too crazy, but crazy. Not illegal, but _crazy_."

After some moments of silence-- in which Jaehyung thought Younghyun might not reply, either because he was tired or because he didn't want to respond to Jaehyung's ridiculous (barely) suggestion-- Younghyoun spoke, "Let's get piercings."

It was a stupid idea, but stupid was exactly what Jaehyung wanted, and exactly what Younghyun was willing to go along with. The two of them got up, and went out together; and they got piercings. For Younghyun, it was his tongue, and his eyebrow. For Jaehyung, it was his lip, and a bar through his ear. They left with sour mouths and a taste for brunch, and they laughed as they had difficulty eating-- Jaehyung, because of the headache his ear piercing had caused-- Younghyun, because of the heaviness and swelling of his tongue. They managed, though, to dig through two pancakes and take the rest home; and they laughed when they settled in bed again. Jaehyung wondered, "Did we really get piercings?" and Younghyun reached out to gently tap Jaehyung's lip, "I think we did."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part two, jaehyung (scene two, the last: the lion's mouth)

 

"I think I know what it is." Jaehyung said. Younghyun raised an eyebrow, intrigued to know what Jaehyung had to say. Jaehyung looked at him across the table, already knowing Younghyun wouldn't like it.

"I'm not ready for this." Jaehyung said. A tilt to the left; Younghyun's head was confused. Jaehyung looked down at his ring, and started to turn it with the fingers on his opposite hand, "I want to be your husband. I want to settle down with you, but... not right now. I'm-- we're too young for this. I want to wear this ring, and I want to be tied to you, but there are more parts of the world to see, and more things to do before we spend the rest of our lives in one home-- and it's eating me alive, because I'm sitting right in the lion's mouth and he just keeps chewing. I have to move, Younghyun-- you have to get me out of here."

Younghyun seemed lost for a moment, and Jaehyung wished his husband-to-be wouldn't just sit there and watch him be eaten alive. Then, Younghyun held his hand out-- and Jaehyung reached for it, thinking Younghyun was going to pull him, but Younghyun's next words interrupted him-- "Give me the ring back."

The statement was so blunt and heavy; it felt like a wave crashed through Jaehyung's lungs. Jaehyung gasped in a breath of air; he retracted his hand, hiding his left in his right as if Younghyun would forget he had the ring if he didn't see it. Jaehyung explained himself quickly-- in depth, this time, "N-No, Younghyun, I _want_  to be your husband, but I just-- I can't do it right now. I-- can we-- please, can we just wait a little bit longer? I do want to be your husband-- I said _yes_ \--"

"I know you do, baby. Trust me, I know." Younghyun reached forward and manually took Jaehyung's hand, holding it gently--his right, not his left. He pulled Jaehyung's arm to him and kissed his fingers softly; he let go of Jaehyung's fingers and held his hand out again, "If you give me that ring back, baby, it's weight off of your chest. You know I'm ready to marry you at any time-- and because you're the one with doubts, I'll let _you_  choose when the time is right. For now, though, I want to take that weight off of your shoulders-- so let me hold the ring."

Jaehyung slowly took the ring off, and handed it to Younghyun. Younghyun took his off, too, and slid them into his pockets. He leaned against the table, and smiled gently at Jaehyung, "And the lion is gone."

\-- And it really did feel that way.

"Any injuries I need to tend to, baby? From leaving you in the lion's mouth for so long?"

"Just-- come here and kiss me," Jaehyung said, patting the seat right next to him as an open invitation. Younghyun accepted it, and slid into the seat next to Jaehyung. Their kiss was soft and full of passion, and Jaehyung was reassured, by the way Younghyun's lips moved, that Younghyun wasn't upset--not in the slightest. (Jaehyung couldn't have asked for a better person to marry--in the future.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part five, younghyun (scene one: the block)

 

It wasn't often that Younghyun started off a conversation with something dramatic, but when Jaehyung plopped down next to Younghyun and asked "What's wrong?" Younghyun couldn't help but blurt out a poetic phrase, "My life is a blank page, and every day is another word that I can't think to write down."

Two minutes came and went, but Jaehyung said nothing. Younghyun didn't blame him for not having a response; he couldn't imagine what he would say if Jaehyung threw something like that at him. However, Jaehyung had a way with words--in which words weren't actually needed because his actions spoke for him. He sat himself up and settled peacefully in Younghyun's lap. His arms snaked slowly around Younghyun's shoulders, slight grip bringing him to a fully seated position, in which his back was against the headboard and his hands were newly placed upon Jaehyung's waist. The insides of Jaehyung's wrists were pressed against the back of Younghyun's neck, and he was suddenly being pulled into a kiss.

So suddenly, in fact, that Younghyun's first instinct was to pull away-- not at all prepared, not at all enough air in his lungs. With the shocked jolted away he stuttered his boyfriend's name, placing a hand on Jaehyung's chest to keep him at a distance of a couple inches. Jaehyung was suddenly a bit breathless from the sudden surge and desperation of his lips, but he still managed to speak-- "When writers have writers' block, they just write something random... right?"

Younghyun considered, and decided, "Some. Most. Yes."

"So write something random." Jaehyung said simply-- _as if Younghyun hadn't thought of it already_ , but Younghyun appreciated the advice. He started to say "I know, baby, I tried," but he didn't get very far, for Jaehyung began to run his fingertips down the length of Younghyun's chest, slowly exposing his bare skin as he picked apart the buttons of his flannel. Younghyun watched him-- felt shivers run down his spine at the gently contact.

"In the real world," Jaehyung said, eyes trained on Younghyun's chest as more and more of his skin was revealed, "--writing is doing, so you would, rather, be _doing_ something random. _I_ happen to be something random. Write me. Do me."

"Jae--" Younghyun laughed a little bit, but Jaehyung turned to look at him with a serious expression--apart from the obvious want (the _lust_ ) in his eyes. He mentioned his expression, too, "I'm serious, babe."

"And what good is that gonna do me?" Younghyun asked after a moment's contemplation. Before he could curse himself for his horrible choice of wording (a wrong choice of words that Jaehyung didn't mind with a giggle under his breath), Younghyun rephrased, "I mean -- when writers write, they get ideas and they write more. Then-- like that-- writers' block is gone. But, if I... _do you_... what will I do next?"

"How about," Jaehyung started to suggest, curling his fingers as they ran down Younghyun's chest, slowly but surely adding the slight scratch of his nails to the gentle tickle of his fingertips, "--we let this little scene write itself out before we start contemplating the next. When the scene is written, we can start to think of what to write next."

At this point, Younghyun's flannel was open, and Jaehyung had pushed it off of his chest-- and he was slowly tracing lines into the faint muscle of Younghyun's torso-- and Younghyun said, "Okay. Let's write this scene."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

memory two, (scene one, the last: the fight)

 

Jaehyung found Younghyun sitting on a park bench.

The two of them didn't fight, simple as that. Their only fight was over something trivial but important-- something about the way they loved that was different, or the way they approached a situation, or something like that. It was fuzzy in both of their heads, but there was enough memory of dialogue and action to piece the scene together.

Jaehyung had asked Younghyun, "Looking for inspiration again?" while Younghyun kept his silence by biting his tongue, feeling the metal of his piercing slide across his teeth. His left eyebrow twitched, the piercing there suddenly becoming heavier, too. Jaehyung bit down-- soft-- on his lip, the metal of his piercing catching his teeth, and he spoke again, "I can help you out with that."

"I don't need help." Younghyun muttered. Jaehyung tapped the bench beneath them. He didn't know what to say. Younghyun didn't know what to say. One of them should have apologized, but they were far too last in anger to do so. They let it fester, and build up; Jaehyung said something, and Younghyun threw something back-- and they didn't scream, but their voices raised a bit and they got so _frustrated_  with each other--

until Jaehyung broke down.

"I hate this." Jaehyung muttered, furiously rubbing his eyes. Younghyun, too, shed a few tears. He tucked his hands into his pockets and let the tears flow freely. He wanted to hug Jaehyung, but he was too heated, and he thought Jaehyung might not appreciate a touch until he asked for one.

"I hate feeling like this-- like-- like you don't love me." Jaehyung muttered. Younghyun pulled his hands from his pockets, shock falling from his lip in a gasp and a question, "You think I don't love you? Just because I'm angry?"

"I think if we fight again we're going to fall apart and I _hate_  that." Jaehyung said. He looked at Younghyun, and whimpered slightly, "We've never fought before, and _this_  is the fight we have? Where we're yelling at each other and hating on each other and-- this is too much, Younghyun. Both of us-- we're _too much_. I don't like to think that things could end for us just because of a little fight."

"We won't let that happen." Younghyun said, holding his hand out for Jaehyung, "You know we won't."

Jaehyung laughed. He laughed, and he held Younghyun's hand as he wiped away the rest of his tears, "This was so stupid. We're so stupid, Younghyun, I think-- I think Cupid's messing with us or something. I think Cupid wants his arrow back."

Tears continued to cascade down Jaehyung's cheeks despite his efforts to rub them away. Eventually, he gave up; at which point Younghyun, too, was crying freely-- and they both still laughed, and Younghyun cursed Cupid-- "He can have his stupid arrow back-- we don't need it."

"He can?"

"He can." Younghyun confirmed. He pulled Jaehyung in for a kiss-- quick, his fingers gentle against Jaehyung's chin, "We're stronger than this."

"We're stronger than this," it wasn't phrased like a question this time; and Younghyun had more faith in him and Jaehyung than ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part five, younghyun (scene two, the last: the (second) proposal)

 

"Thoughts?" Jaehyung asked, post-writing. Younghyun slowly rubbed his fingers through Jaehyung's hair; he stared at the ceiling and contemplated. After the entire scene-- all the passion of it, all the love of it, all the adoration he felt, he could only think one thing--which, if he had fallen in love with anyone but Jaehyung, he wouldn't have had enough courage to say (yet), "I _really_  want to marry you."

Jaehyung laughed, his breath falling gently over Younghyun's chest. Younghyun closed his eyes at the slight hurt he felt-- at the laughter of _I want to marry you_ , but he was comforted a moment later but Jaehyung's saying, "Good. Because I'm ready to marry you."

"You are?" Younghyun perked up right away, his head tilting up, looking at Jaehyung's face, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Jaehyung said. His eyes were closed, but he was absolutely serious; Younghyun could tell by his voice. He said, "I'm absolutely sure, Kang Younghyun, that I want to marry you, and that I shouldn't have overreacted about the lion and the ring because the ring weighs virtually nothing and the lion doesn't even exist."

"It did in your mind," Younghyun said. He wanted to dig out the rings already, put one back on himself and one on Jaehyung--but Jaehyung was comfortable on his chest and Younghyun didn't want to compromise his relaxation just to get a ring that he would have the chance to wear for the rest of his life. (He could wait a few more hours, at least.)

"Yeah, well, my mind is off the wall. You should never listen to me." Jaehyung said-- and, with that, he turned his head up, and kissed Younghyun, "But thank you for actually doing so. I love you--so much."

"I love you so much, too;" and Younghyun's words were a whisper but they had the same effect -- as well as the soft kiss shared next compared to the passionate kisses they had shared some minutes ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

today, the end.

 

"I think we found our honeymoon phase, baby." Younghyun said, laying with Jaehyung post-wedding, half-asleep, sharing fruit on a hotel bed. Jaehyung had yet to even take his shoes off, and he was already falling asleep; but he managed to hum along, and agree, "I think we did."

"Let's make it last forever?" Younghyun suggested, holding up a piece of pineapple for agreement. Jaehyung reached over and grabbed a strawberry, tapped it against Younghyun's pineapple and, after slipping the fruit into his mouth, agreed, "Let's make it last forever."


End file.
